I am so angry

Sat Feb 11, 2006 8:43 am

I am so mad right now I can't even express it...I know there's been a thread like this before, but I just need to rant about this right now.

I was on the phone with my supossedly "best" friend, and I was telling her about how I have to take one of my rats, Ricky, to the vet. She got all snotty and she was like, "You're taking a RAT to the vet?" and I was like, "Yeah..." and she asked why, and I explained that he has this scab on his back and its just getting worse so I don't want to take the chance of it getting out of hand. Then she said something that seriously made me want to punch her. She said, "You're going to take a rat to the vet that you could just replace for seven dollars?" I told her that the point was not how much he cost, the point is that he is my pet and my responsibility. I told her that if I paid seven dollars for one of my cats and she got sick I wouldnt just kick her to the curb and replace her. She said she still couldn't understand why I would take a rat to the vet.

What does she think I'm supossed to do? Sure, maybe it'll get better on its own...but what if it doesnt? Am I supossed to sit there and watch him scratch and scratch in discomfort, and then maybe get infected, grow an abcess? Am I supossed to say, "Good luck Ricky, hope it all works out for you" and then if it doesn't and he gets really sick am I supossed to be comforted in the fact that for only seven dollars I can replace him?

Just because my rats didn't cost $500 like her pure-bred beagle I guess that means they don't deserve quality of life.

Mad

And then my boyfriend isn't much better...he doesn't hate them like he did at first, but he still isn't very supportive. I was stressing out today because money is sooo tight for me right now and I'm trying to balance full time school with almost full time work, and I live on my own and I'm getting farther and farther in debt...of course, he had to throw in my face that maybe I shouldn't have gotten the rats then because now I have to bring Ricky to the vet and I also have to buy them a new cage...well, when I bought them in the first place things were looking up so I thought I could afford them, and I didn't expect to have to buy a new cage so soon. Anyway, then he throws in my face, "What I don't agree with is that you want to get another rat, and you're going to pay like $20 for it". I am looking into getting one more rat, and I'm in contact with a couple breeders so I would be paying about $20 as opposed to around $7 from a pet store...but I wouldnt even be getting another one until around April. And by then I'll have a new cage so there will be plenty of room for another rat...one more won't make that much of a difference. I got so mad at him for throwing that at me that I reminded him that just this weekend he bet $20 on a football game and lost...and he doesn't have much money either! At least I get a trade-off for my $20- a loving pet who I'll care about and have for a couple years. What did he get from his stupid bet? Nothing! He might as well have ripped up that $20 bill and threw it in the garbage. And every year he spends at least $200 in a football pool, and never wins anything from it...I never waste my money when its on a pet. A pet is an investment that keeps on giving, even if you end up spending a lot of money to keep them healthy. I spent over $600 on one of my cats who came to me off the street...and if I had to I'd do it all over again.

I just don't know how people can be so uncaring and ignorant, especially when they're supossed to be the people who are closest to you.

Sat Feb 11, 2006 8:54 am

I'm so sorry about that and I can feel your frusteration. My dad got so mad at me when I spent 100$ to take Mr. Bojangles to the vet and to get antibiotics for his ear infection. He was mad because the money was suppose to be for school but I couldn't just let him die from something like an ear infection.

Sat Feb 11, 2006 5:40 pm

I totally understand. I've found a few people who do get it, but every day there are people who act surprised or giggle when I mention taking my rats to the vet. Sometimes I am in the mood to educate them the way you described above, and I do. Sometimes I change the subject because it hurts to experience disappointment in someone you thought was a cool person. And sometimes I choose to not mention any rat issues at all, because I don't feel like gambling on a reaction.

It hurts when someone close to you chooses not to understand. I am not fond of scorpions, Madagascar cockroaches, some snakes, and certain other creatures- but if I had a friend or family member who had one as a pet, and was feeling upset and describing an illness or condition or problem, I would listen with compassion. My job as a friend is not to compare my feelings about living with that type of animal, but to offer support for what my friend is feeling. And I don't care what kind of animal it is- I hate to hear about suffering. And anyone who takes his/her animal to the vet, or attempts treatment at home, or otherwise goes an extra mile to respect the LIFE in her care is a person who deserves unconditional support.

I'm sorry your closest loved ones let you down that way.

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~Paula~
Ratties: Frisco, Simon & Minna
Mousies: Polly & Pocket

Sat Feb 11, 2006 8:40 pm

He is not much of a boyfriend and she is not much of a best friend.

Sounds like you need to dump them (like they expect you to dump the rat) and get new ones. At least you can explain to them (and they might understand) why you feel they are worthless and replaceable.

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Rats are man's best friend. They gave up long life to be able to give more love.

Sat Feb 11, 2006 9:09 pm

I think I made my boyfriend sound worse than he is Embarassed

I think he tries to like them, but he just doesn't...He's not really an "animal" person, he never had pets growing up and he's not too fond of the idea of rats. He apologized for what he said and he said he should have thought about how he bets money on sports before getting on my case about the rats, especially since he knows that animals have such high value to me. He may not feel the way I do about animals, rats especially, but he makes an effort to understand, even if he doesn't always say the right things at first. And when other people give negative reactions to my rats he never gangs up on me or anything, he always just says something like, "So what? They're pets and she likes them", even if he might agree with how other people feel.

But my "best" friend...she deserves to be told off. I have to see her later on tonight, and I'm almost worried she might say something uncaring about the rats...what she said last night has been going over and over in my head and I'm pretty sure that if she says something else tonight I might just blow up at her and start a huge fight.

	Quote:
	At least you can explain to them (and they might understand) why you feel they are worthless and replaceable.

I don't know if I could say anything that mean to my friend, but I sure do want to Twisted Evil

She's done plenty of things that I could judge and be harsh about but I always support her...and her actions are definately not anything to be proud of. Personally I'm proud of my compassion for animals, and I think it makes me a better person. I don't think she should judge me for that when I try not to judge her and her completely stupid decisions.

Sat Feb 11, 2006 11:02 pm

Ahh, I understand completely. But you should try to remain as calm as humanly possible when dealing with people like that, blowing up isnt going to help much. I know you're concerned that you might just go over the edge because theyre your *babies* and you feel you need to defend them, but sometimes ppl arent going to be convinced, sadly. Maybe the two of you could have a heart to heart talk ... tell her how it makes you feel when she talks abt your rats like that, and ask her to at the very least *not* to talk like that abt them in front of you. Explain that they are your loving pets and that you really need her friendship and compassion when they get ill, maybe she'll understand if you arent attacking her.

Good luck, and you know you have all of us here as internet *friends* whenever you need some understanding.

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Sat Feb 11, 2006 11:06 pm

It's always hard for me to understand how people don't "get" why we would choose to do the best we can for a companion animal, no matter how big or small. They only have one life and they rely solely on us to make it miserable or joyful. Their lives are literally in our hands. I can't imagine how I would feel if I just ignored them, especially after accepting the responsibility for their lives by acquiring them in the first place! Once you make the choice to get them, I feel you are obligated to provide them with care or you would be a pretty miserable human being. Ask your friend if she would actually respect you for letting an animal suffer and replacing it with a new one. It sounds like she wasn't really thinking when she said these things.

Sun Feb 12, 2006 10:11 am

I love my parents, but they get the same way with these sort of issues. It's not as if they think rats are disposable, my dad would happily pay the money to get them pts but he would never pay hundreds of dollars to get a tumour removed, for example. His philosiphy is that they die in 2 or so years, so why spend so much money.

Don't get me wrong, he loves my rats, he spoils them rotten; but when it comes to money it's me who has to do everything.

Luckily I've recently gotten a part time job and make around 50 dollars a week. That's all in the bank, so now I have over 580 dollars handy incase my rats get sick.

People get that reaction because rats lives are so short. But I think that's the reason we should take them to the vet, the longer they live the better. Each day counts.

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Marisa
Monopoly, Cobbles, Milford, Snubs, Naf, Mr. Schneebly and Insu

Sun Feb 12, 2006 10:20 am

At least your boyfriend is trying to like them, and is sticking up for him. Your friend however... Twisted Evil

. If she can't even recognize that rats important to you, and respect that, then I don't know what kind of friend she is. She might not like rats, but can still respect the fact that you do.

I often get odd looks from people when I say that I am taking one of the rats to the vet, but I also have had non-rat people say ask what is wrong, and say that they hope that they get better

.

	Quote:
	His philosiphy is that they die in 2 or so years, so why spend so much money.

That was what my parents said a while ago. My mom still feels the same way, but is a little more supportive. My dad on the other hand said that "they will never go without vet care". He also buys them toys and treats and spoiles them Mr. Green

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Rosie

* * *

I miss you Tut, Goldy, and Raoul Angel rat

Mon Feb 13, 2006 12:24 am

I feel so lucky that I come from a supportive family. (the ones I live with anyways) The two times I've had to take any of my rats in (once for an absess and once for mites) my grandparents paid for it and told me I could pay them back when I could. I feel your pain about people who just so obviously don't care. Many of my friends are like that.Or were...I choose not to associate with them any more, a small part of it being their blatent and very vocal disgust at the pets I choose to own. Some people are just like that. It's sad but it's true. I highly commend those people with enough patience to try to set the record straight. Cudos to you all